joelbenjamin

Joël Benjamin

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My Only Regret by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

My Only Regret

It feels like a suddenly appearing black cloud, Over my heart. I poured my blood, my tears, my sweat and my laughter Into your dream. I made mistakes, but so did you. And even in the end you tried to control me; Was it to appease your own conscience? Or control your only safety? It doesn't matter now, some of my deeds were wrong; But not as many as you claim. And the consequence you put on me was worse than I deserved. But you were in control. The cloud of your influence over my life was once benevolent, But the silver lining faded, making way for darker days. My loyalty and need for security were all that kept me there, And with one

Fire by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Fire

Fire I looked into the mirror of my soul; oh how the years have passed. The things I thought defined me have changed since I last looked. I have changed so deep inside and it seems the changes will abide. Such a strange thing it is, not to recognize yourself in old frames...... At the crossroads I have found new friends; a new home for my heart. You have heard my voice and seen my heart, welcoming me with open arms. It is daunting to stand so high, beyond the clouds and sky. Your fingers soaring upon wood-paved paths afloat And in this sonic kingdom I have changed from hand to heart. I have become the voice giving words to our fire.

Feel by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Feel

Feel There is a place where I am king, where apparitions meet to sing, coming forth from deep within. From my fingertips and tongue, explodes another morose song, that makes the weeping willows wail. Liquid fire in the sky; visions of my dreams float by. Here I am creator, here I come to show myself. Even when my mood is bleak, and numbness is all I seek, if I choose to; beauty will be given birth. We can hide it we can try, but who we are deep inside Will never fade and never die, so show me yours; I'll show you mine A hurricane straight from my heart, tears the visual apart and swept away I am by the currents Of the consciousness be

Radiate by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Radiate

Radiate Thoughts and emotions spiraling through me Rainbows of light permeate my being. The spectrum doesn't end where sights fails us Darkness cannot be seen, but neither can some of the light. Radiate, matter turned energy suffuses me now. The endless void within my cells; filled to the brim with light. Perhaps the meaning of life eternal Is that the journey never ends. But I will take steps to move forward Pausing often enough not to come to a standstill. Radiate, matter turned energy suffuses me now. The endless void within my cells; filled to the brim with light. I am what you made me, altered by experience. A marble statue vibran

Presence by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Presence

Presence All clad in black, hooded, shrouded in mourning. The death of self, shadows, blackness flees. No longer I; ascendancy to something more Someone more, through the gateway of acceptance. Made more colourful than rainbows, shining brighter than the sun. The heart of me accepted, all the dark once mine undone. You have made in me a new heart, a soul so bright. My spirit flitting through a forest of light. All the energy and force of the eternal, Pouring from my spirit, through my soul into this husk. Made more colourful than rainbows, shining brighter than the sun. The heart of me accepted, all the dark once mine undone. All c

Repentance by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Repentance

Repentance A bright mind in darkening days; a radiant flame smothered by doubt. A future seemingly boundless, destroyed by self-pity and pride. Condemnation gnawing on my bones, self-hate carving up my heart Like a bloody peace of meat, constantly rejected slowly sliding down. I find myself reflecting on the habits I have adopted, And I repent; this does not reflect who I am within. I have tried to drown my demons and shadows in numbness and bliss, When shining Your light on them; is exactly what I miss. Paths carved out into my system, hard-wired to avoid the pain With methods that only give me temporal release, I find myself reflecti

Awakening by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Awakening

Awakening Re-finding the adventure in my soul, The boundaries of a mind with none; stretched. I am Has been a while And yet here I stand once again Awestruck By the beauty Of every segment of my soul Spirited out via strings and resonance. Here I am whole, All that you have created in me Comes out and flashes brightly And I am truly, At one With all the parts of me. That were dormant for a while. Joël Benjamin

Rooted by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Rooted

Rooted In the search of beauty unmatched, pleasure unparalleled... In dreams lucid and days spent half-asleep... Wishes of well being and faring...well; well. Searching along tracks formed long ago. Prayers muttered both aloud and under my breath... A thousand things I thought you would be, But never this; a perfect answer to my needs and desires. A friend, a lover, a beauty, an anchor, both soft and sound. In all my darker days, my ill-lit ways and nights at large. In all my brightest hours, in seconds of pure bliss; Never have I experienced something like this. It is not forbidden, full of grandeur; but it is truly, deeply Rooted;

Cataclysmic by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Cataclysmic

Cataclysmic Silence, simple; secure. Every word unuttered, preceded by a thought. And now, you; you smile. And so do I. You see we both have our life, And both these lives have collided. The cataclysmic synergy called romance Was born from the chaos of our union. You, are everything I never knew And all of the things I see within myself. Security, verbal and direct. Passionate; curbed just over the edge. Explode with a million smiles, Right in my face. Don’t ever stop smiling, Or telling me about your life. For you are, forever, Quite genuinely amazing. All my love. Joël 2015-08-01

Acceptance / Love / Patience / Grace by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Acceptance / Love / Patience / Grace

Be yourself, be no one else; Remain humble, accept that you are flawed. Don’t ever try to be perfect; For in striving to attain perfection One loses it completely. Acceptance, love, patience, grace, Such are the virtues needed to sustain A relationship of love and trust and kindness Unburdened by condemnation and mistrust. That is worth your life. In accepting ourselves, we will accept the other. Rough edges might be trimmed, Compromises made in order to sustain An existence together. But never lose yourself for or in another. Respect yourself first, then you too will respect the other. You are worth everything, and so is that s

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My Only Regret by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

My Only Regret

Fire by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Fire

Feel by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Feel

Radiate by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Radiate

Presence by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Presence

Repentance by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Repentance

Awakening by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Awakening

Rooted by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Rooted

Cataclysmic by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Cataclysmic

Acceptance / Love / Patience / Grace by joelbenjamin, literature

Literature

Acceptance / Love / Patience / Grace

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About joelbenjamin

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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

Dec 10
Netherlands
Deviant for 16 years
He / Him

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My Bio

Who am I? An existential question I started asking again this morning. I am many things, but the 'who' is difficult to capture in even a single line. And the answer 'me' or 'myself' is so generic. So for now let's say I am the young man people remember for a couple things:

A distinct, personal style. (Revolving around a modern take on certain classics, like waist-coats, collar/tie-pins, and the colors of autumn)
An artist (writer/musician)
Very loud bursts of very distinctive laughter.
A taste for fine wines and spirits.
A godly man.

Enjoy my work, I hope it speaks for itself.

Favourite Visual Artist

Dali

Favourite Movies

The Last Samurai

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Fit For A King

Favourite Writers

Eric Lustbader

Favourite Games

Assasin's Creed

Favourite Gaming Platform

Xbox 360

Tools of the Trade

7 string guitar, pen & poem, pen & prose, voice....

Other Interests

Music, literature, poetry, art, martial arts

Posts

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joelbenjamin

May 11, 2015

Devious Journal Entry

0 min read

Today I decided my heart is worth protecting. Today I took a tiny step for some, but it was a huge leap for me. I broke up a while ago and in moving on I decided to work on myself, be by myself and stay that way for a while. All the while, I will be dating which might seem strange. But I have a personal goal, to grow in certain areas and that choice is the perfect expression of said goal. I severed the ties today, the last remnant thereoff. I closed the final window into my life she had and if - by some persistence  - you're now reading this; don't say I didn't warn you not to. Just turn away. My emotions have been rampant these last few da

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joelbenjamin

Apr 8, 2015

Devious Journal Entry

0 min read

Reading old lines Today I decided to read some of my old lines and commit them to the digital paper. I uploaded a couple as well. It is interesting for me to rediscover how to expres myself through words after so long a time of utter silence. Times have been rough, but the sun came up again and I feel myself smiling again, living again.... So? What am I saying? I am saying all is well. Sure I've got stuff to sort out, but we all do. I am merely grateful for the lessons I have learned of late, for the love that I knew for a time and for the freedom and life I have found in making the tough choices I had to. Breathing the free air is very ref